7 Signs That You Have A Fear Of Success
Fear of success — it sounds paradoxical, yet, it is very true for many people.
Our brain is designed to protect us. To protect us from danger and experiences, it does not regard as "normal." Anything that throws us out of our comfort zone.
And many times, it can also mean very positive experiences, such as success — in life, business, finances, sports, relationships, etc.
It is especially true if we have grown up in an environment that encourages conformity more than promoting innovation and creativity. Or we might have experienced being ridiculed in school for better grades or other achievements.
The brain may regard success as a danger and protect us from it because it contradicts our current self-image.
Here are seven signs that you might have a fear of success:
Procrastination On The Specific Things You Know You Need To Do
Deep inside, you know you need to accomplish specific tasks to achieve that goal you desire. Yet, you tend to procrastinate on those tasks.
You may rationally explain to yourself that this takes more time to fit into the schedule, and you will do it when you finish other things. Or you may feel you don't yet have the necessary knowledge or resources to accomplish this task.
But it is not the lack of knowledge, resources, or time — it is you sabotaging yourself. Because you are afraid of might happen if you indeed carry out all your plan and do your best.
You are afraid of what might happen if you truly give your best.
2. Feeling Of Intense Excitement
This might sound very weird, but let me explain!
While it is nothing wrong with having an incredible feeling of excitement when you think about your goals, vision, and dreams, you might have a fear of success if the feeling is almost like intense nervous anticipation.
You achieve a certain level of success when it feels normal and natural to you.
If you get close to your desired level of success but outside of your "normal" zone, your brain will try to normalize the situation. It means you might fall back to the same old level of success you had previously. Respectively, your self-image is not yet ready for the new level of success.
“You achieve a certain level of success when it feels normal and natural to you.”
If thoughts about arriving at that destination give us such feelings of excitement as we could only be finally happy if we achieve it, our brain may try to keep us in the comfort zone it is used to.
It is hard to reach a goal if our self-worth and happiness depend upon reaching it or not.
3. Worrying About What Other People Will Think
What if they doubt your success?
Or what if they laugh at you?
And what if they criticize your work?
What if they want to give you new responsibilities?
What if they start looking up to you?
Positive or negative expectations of how people will treat you can be overwhelming. They can make you always look for ways to excuse yourself and what you do and why you do it.
You might say things like: "Well, it is nothing special that I am doing. I am just trying, will see what turns out." But you are afraid to been seen as successful because you are not used to it.
4. You Don't Talk Confidently About Your Goals With Others.
This is connected to the previous point.
How you speak about your goals, plans, strategies, and dreams can tell a lot about where you might get stuck in the process towards them.
You might try to decrease the impact of what you do by saying that it is nothing too big and impressive. Or you might not speak with the power and confidence in your voice when you talk about it.
In reality, it is hard for you to imagine yourself being in a situation when you have achieved what you desire. Your self-image wants to keep it as a wish — "would be great to have," instead of a real possibility.
5. You Start Well, But You Rarely Finish It
When you set a specific goal and make a plan, then you have a ton of excitement. You want to dive right into it.
However, as time passes by, you find yourself procrastinating on the things you know you should be doing.
Often you get stuck on this one task that is out of your comfort zone, and you don't feel ready yet to do it. So, you leave it until the next day, next week, etc.
Time goes by, and you might even drop this goal and start to pursue a different one.
You are afraid to do everything you need to do. And fearful of how your life will change once you do get those results.
You sabotage yourself by setting a new goal and making a new plan because that way, you can always stay in the process towards it.
6. Feeling That You Need To Be Perfect To Achieve What You Desire
Nobody's ever perfect. Yet you have the perception in mind that only when you will do things perfectly, you will achieve that goal or be worthy of achieving it.
It then becomes this unreachable goal. And it becomes a reason for your procrastination and lack of commitment.
If deep inside, you don't have a genuine belief that you can accomplish this and that you deserve it, then you will not take enough action.
Or your actions will not be backed up by enough passion, confidence & belief.
That alone can be the missing piece that makes your actions not fruitful enough.
You don't take action because you think about this profound, massive change you need to make in yourself before you are ready to achieve it.
“You are only afraid of what will happen if you indeed carry out all the points in your plan and apply the strategy wholeheartedly.”
7. You Let Little Things Distract You
It connects with all other points.
You let little everyday things distract you because you feel overwhelmed by how you would need to change to hit your goals.
You are afraid of not doing good enough the foremost thing you know you need to do, so you find satisfaction in accomplishing minor, unimportant tasks. When you feel like you will be ready, you will do it then.
You are afraid to find out how much greatness you have inside of you because that will give you a new set of responsibilities and spotlights you are not used to.
How To Change That?
Start with noticing and admitting which ones of the mentioned signs of fear of success you have. Notice in what kind of situation you procrastinate and what are the tasks you delay. What do you do in those situations? Do you turn to minor tasks and little nuggets given by notifications, e-mails, messages, and IG feeds? Learn to discipline yourself and sit at the task you are afraid of until you accomplish it. Physically push yourself to do it. Commit to somebody that you will do it and let them keep you accountable.
Write down thoughts about yourself that you notice. What negative things have you said to yourself? "I can never be that good." "Hopefully, one day, I can be as good as well." "I will try to do it." "It would be so great if only I could achieve it. My life would change completely."
Change those negative thoughts into positive ones. "I am exactly that good!" "I know I will achieve it!" "It is just like me to do it!" The last phrase is compelling to change your self-image. You tell yourself that you already have all the knowledge, skills, and character needed to achieve your goal. When you say that to yourself often, your subconscious brain starts to listen, and your self-image changes. And hitting the new levels of success is not anymore something so special that your brain can't handle it. It feels normal for the brain. Repeat: "It's like me to be successful!"
Play positive scenarios in your mind to get your mind used to new lifestyles. A subconscious mind can't tell the difference between a real experience and a vividly imagined experience. If you vividly imagine different scenarios where you are at the level of success you desire long enough and often enough, your brain will consider them to be true. Your self-image will change to match these new experiences. When you have those new successful experiences, the mind will think of them as normal — you always have been this successful!
Choose to let go of what others will think or say about you. Accept that there will be those who love you no matter what you do and those who hate you no matter what you do. And then there will be those in between who don't care. And that's ok. You don't need the whole world to be your fans to carry out a life well-lived. Accept yourself as you are and let go of perfection. Your faults and mistakes you make along the process can play for your benefit.
Do you feel like you were meant for more in this world - to do what you love, create a successful business, live an authentic and exciting life, travel the world, make an impact, but you feel held back by fear, self-doubt, perfectionism, procrastination, and lack of a clear vision?
Let's jump on a consultation call because my 1: 1 coaching program, "90 Days to Confident and Courageous: You Roadmap to the Life & Business You Love," is meant to help you get from fear and being stuck to confidence and taking bold action so that you can build your dream life and business!
